After springing forward this past weekend, obviously, the issue of sleep came up. The Toronto Star even had a Sleep Issue, which mulled over the subject of precious sleep, the lack thereof, and described all you can buy to sleep better. It got me thinking of our relationship with sleep --we all have one in the Western World, like our relationship with food. I mentioned, in my last post, how insomnia is a disease of our way of life. We are so obsessed with sleep that we have doctors and clinics, machines, studies, pills, vitamins, foods, tricks, bedtime stories and myths, and even merchandise to help us get more of it. We debate how much sleep an individual needs. We talk about what kind and type of sleeper we are (hypo vs hyper, and the 5-6 hours, 7-8 hours, or 9-10 hours), and analyze our dreams.
I started thinking of everyone I know who struggles with sleep: those who can't wind down; those who when they wake up, can't go back to sleep; those who don't go to sleep at all; those who fall asleep anywhere; and those who never get enough and are always tired. According to this newspaper, they can purchase expensive blinds, eye masks, melatonin pills, the right pajamas or sheets, or even a $93k mattress to help them out. But what keeps coming to mind, is what my parents used to say when I was a kid, after I spent a day in the sun, swimming in summer and playing in the snow in winter: "She is going to sleep tonight!" And it hit me. What do people of Nepal do that is so different from us? Spend most of their day in fresh air. I think it would be hard to find a person here who, after camping or skiing all day has trouble sleeping. Look at kids who play outside --they sleep like babies because it takes energy to regulate body temperature and fend off cold or heat. Fresh air is a cure for insomnia, I'm sure of it. Lets face it, we spend most of our adult life in heated or air conditioned rooms...
In my case I sleep a lot, up to 11 hours a night. Without waking. It's too much since I loose precious waking hours, but I figure one part of that is my body healing from trauma, and what better way to do that than to sleep? The other part is my obsession with fresh air. Those who know me also know my windows are open all summer regardless of the heat; that I nag my family all winter to play outside; that I would live by the lake or on a farm if I could; that I sleep with the window open as soon as March rolls in. Maybe I'm on the something.
March 17, 2011
March 10, 2011
Self Help Overdose
My next post was supposed to be on saving money, but hey, plans change.
I can't remember if I mentioned that I'm on a 5 week rest leave from work. It's been a month now and after March Break next week, I go back. This leave was due to physical and mental exhaustion, to the feeling that I can't keep up with my own life, that I can't keep my head above water, and any other expression you can think of that illustrates this. I guess it's all due to the continuing effects of chemo -if my oncologist tells me one more time that he has "aged me considerably" I will tell him just how little he knows about women. If I had known, I would have given myself a lot more time to recuperate after treatments; I went back to work after 3 months, what was I thinking? Now it's taking everything to prove that cancer (and its peripherals) and exhaustion are related. My hormone levels are out of whack, stress and exhaustion has an effect on hormone balance, and high estrogen feeds my cancer. But there's no study to prove that so I'm out of luck. At least my doctors support me. My family doctor said that I have lost perspective and balance in my life. That sounds right. And so, this is how I came to have a ridiculously high pile of self help books on my table.
I read the following --it's quite comical: The 4 Hour Work Week, The War of Art, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Your Money or Your Life, The Art of Simple Living, You Can Heal Yourself, The Power of Now 1 and 2, The Art of Happiness, The Happiness Project, Downshifting, and the list goes on. Some of these have helped considerably. Some have pissed me off. Like the one I'm reading now.
According to this author who shall remain nameless, "we create every so-called illness in our body". This isn't the first time I've read this. When I picked up one of those cancer preventing books at Chapters while my head was as bald as an eagle, the first passage I read basically told me I was responsible for being sick. This concept isn't new. Apparently, in the Middle Ages, people thought acting happy would protect them against the plague. I'm not saying it isn't a possibility, or one of many factors. I do think stress affects hormones and my hormones could kill me, so I do see the correlation between being happy and being healthy. Someone I know who lived in Nepal for a year told me that they laugh over there when you ask them in the morning if they slept well: "Ha ha! Of course we did! Not sleeping well is a Western World disease!" I can see that for sure. Insomnia, back and neck aches, seasonal depression, migraines, muscles spasms, irritability, PSM, etc, all results from our speedy way of life. And, as I was coming back from massage, physio and therapy appointments in one week, I thought of all the services provided as remedies: massage, chiro, physio, osteo, psycho, speech, gym, and the list goes on.
But to say that I made myself sick is a typical case of blaming the victim. Besides, how would anyone explain that I was sick regardless of: being a positive, confident person who sees the bright side of every situation; who has never suffered from depression of addiction; who likes people and is active; who is relatively emotionally healthy and quite self aware; and especially, who doesn't seem to notice the stench of shit when I'm knee deep in it. So changing my mental state to heal my body isn't going to cut it.
I do need to relax and limit the sources of stress in my life. I need to pay attention to myself and actually do the things that bring me joy to get all those healthy endorphins. But that alone won't heal me. I'm thinking happy thoughts of burning some of these book though...
I can't remember if I mentioned that I'm on a 5 week rest leave from work. It's been a month now and after March Break next week, I go back. This leave was due to physical and mental exhaustion, to the feeling that I can't keep up with my own life, that I can't keep my head above water, and any other expression you can think of that illustrates this. I guess it's all due to the continuing effects of chemo -if my oncologist tells me one more time that he has "aged me considerably" I will tell him just how little he knows about women. If I had known, I would have given myself a lot more time to recuperate after treatments; I went back to work after 3 months, what was I thinking? Now it's taking everything to prove that cancer (and its peripherals) and exhaustion are related. My hormone levels are out of whack, stress and exhaustion has an effect on hormone balance, and high estrogen feeds my cancer. But there's no study to prove that so I'm out of luck. At least my doctors support me. My family doctor said that I have lost perspective and balance in my life. That sounds right. And so, this is how I came to have a ridiculously high pile of self help books on my table.
I read the following --it's quite comical: The 4 Hour Work Week, The War of Art, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Your Money or Your Life, The Art of Simple Living, You Can Heal Yourself, The Power of Now 1 and 2, The Art of Happiness, The Happiness Project, Downshifting, and the list goes on. Some of these have helped considerably. Some have pissed me off. Like the one I'm reading now.
According to this author who shall remain nameless, "we create every so-called illness in our body". This isn't the first time I've read this. When I picked up one of those cancer preventing books at Chapters while my head was as bald as an eagle, the first passage I read basically told me I was responsible for being sick. This concept isn't new. Apparently, in the Middle Ages, people thought acting happy would protect them against the plague. I'm not saying it isn't a possibility, or one of many factors. I do think stress affects hormones and my hormones could kill me, so I do see the correlation between being happy and being healthy. Someone I know who lived in Nepal for a year told me that they laugh over there when you ask them in the morning if they slept well: "Ha ha! Of course we did! Not sleeping well is a Western World disease!" I can see that for sure. Insomnia, back and neck aches, seasonal depression, migraines, muscles spasms, irritability, PSM, etc, all results from our speedy way of life. And, as I was coming back from massage, physio and therapy appointments in one week, I thought of all the services provided as remedies: massage, chiro, physio, osteo, psycho, speech, gym, and the list goes on.
But to say that I made myself sick is a typical case of blaming the victim. Besides, how would anyone explain that I was sick regardless of: being a positive, confident person who sees the bright side of every situation; who has never suffered from depression of addiction; who likes people and is active; who is relatively emotionally healthy and quite self aware; and especially, who doesn't seem to notice the stench of shit when I'm knee deep in it. So changing my mental state to heal my body isn't going to cut it.
I do need to relax and limit the sources of stress in my life. I need to pay attention to myself and actually do the things that bring me joy to get all those healthy endorphins. But that alone won't heal me. I'm thinking happy thoughts of burning some of these book though...
March 04, 2011
Update: A year later
It's been a year since I went back to work after cancer treatments, and almost 2 years since I went crazy with the anti-toxin issue. Researching an writing this blog was fine when I wasn't working, but keeping it up and working full time is practically impossible. I go to bed at 8pm, no kidding. Regardless, I'm still learning, and sharing what I know. I've convinced many friends to stop heating up lunched in plastic containers, and changing their baby's bottles to bpa-free alternatives. Many people have asked about my cosmetic and soap products and have tried them. I like knowing that I'm educating people, but whether they change their habits or not is up to them. At least, they know more now about toxins and xeno-estrogens, and their impact on our health.
As for me, I'm healthy, but my estrogen levels are still 3 times the norm. After all the phtalates and bpa I've eliminated in my life, it seems I am a natural estrogen-making machine. Good for my skin and my figure, bad for chances of recurrence. I won't worry about it though, since I can only control what I can --my exposure to toxins. So, 2 years later:
1. I use only toxin-free cosmetics and body products: Right now, Dr Bronner is the product of choice. We use it as hand soap, shampoo, body soap and face cleanser. Why would we need a different type of product on our face? It's the same skin we have everywhere else. What a great example of a made-up need. I still love Bare Organics and Rocky Mountain Soap Company, which I alternate with Dr Bronner.
In the bath I use baking soda just like my mother used to. It does a nice job of softening the water. If I rather have bath oil, I go down to the kitchen to get the olive oil since there is no such thing as bath oil. Oil is oil. Same with bath salts. Kitchen sea salt does the trick. And again, same with lotions. If I need to hydrate my skin, what does a better job then oil? At least I know what's going on and in my skin: Olives. I'm ok with that.
2. I don't use any plastic to store food. Many people ask me how we store food in the refrigerator or heat in the microwave. As simple as a plate with a bowl on top, or vise versa. For packed lunches, we use stainless steel containers and mason jars. Freezing is trickier -I keep breaking the jars, so I'm working on it. I'm still looking for waterproof organic cotton envelops or bags for sandwiches and snacks. I might have to make them myself.
3. I use only natural cleaning products, or vinegar and baking soda. I prefer having bacteria than chemicals in my house. It's a choice and believe me, everything is antibacterial now, even your underwear. A shame we are so triclosan-crazy now since it's proven that kids exposed to certain bacteria before the age of 2 are less likely to die from that bacteria as an elder.
4. I don't use pesticides on my lawn (no fertilizer either -why would I want the damn thing to grow faster?) and I buy the dirty dozen in the organic section or at least locally grown: apples, grapes, peppers, celery, peaches, and all other thin skinned fruit and vegetables. I don't worry about bananas, mangoes, pineapples, oranges, etc. I also stay away from produce that is not in season. I will never buy huge January strawberries. In winter, we eat Caribbean fruit; it isn't local but it is in season. It's fun the learn your location's growing season. In Ottawa, we have asparagus in May, strawberries in June, raspberries in July, blueberries and peaches in August, apples and potatoes in September, root vegetables in the fall.
5. We buy only local, hormone and antibiotic-free meat. We go to our local butcher/farmer who told us they "don't have the money for that fancy hormone thing", and we bought a quarter cow from La Ferme du Vallon Highlands, from someone we know who raises cows in summer. I know my cow was raised with respect and on milk and grass, as all cows should.
6. My house smells of nothing. Not of fabric softener (the devil incarnated and another made-up need), not of air fresheners or plug-ins, nothing. In fact, I don't use anything that has the word "fragrance" as an ingredient.
It was difficult at first, but once we got used to the change, it made sense. I feel good about protecting myself and my family, and I'm saving money too.
As for me, I'm healthy, but my estrogen levels are still 3 times the norm. After all the phtalates and bpa I've eliminated in my life, it seems I am a natural estrogen-making machine. Good for my skin and my figure, bad for chances of recurrence. I won't worry about it though, since I can only control what I can --my exposure to toxins. So, 2 years later:
1. I use only toxin-free cosmetics and body products: Right now, Dr Bronner is the product of choice. We use it as hand soap, shampoo, body soap and face cleanser. Why would we need a different type of product on our face? It's the same skin we have everywhere else. What a great example of a made-up need. I still love Bare Organics and Rocky Mountain Soap Company, which I alternate with Dr Bronner.
In the bath I use baking soda just like my mother used to. It does a nice job of softening the water. If I rather have bath oil, I go down to the kitchen to get the olive oil since there is no such thing as bath oil. Oil is oil. Same with bath salts. Kitchen sea salt does the trick. And again, same with lotions. If I need to hydrate my skin, what does a better job then oil? At least I know what's going on and in my skin: Olives. I'm ok with that.
2. I don't use any plastic to store food. Many people ask me how we store food in the refrigerator or heat in the microwave. As simple as a plate with a bowl on top, or vise versa. For packed lunches, we use stainless steel containers and mason jars. Freezing is trickier -I keep breaking the jars, so I'm working on it. I'm still looking for waterproof organic cotton envelops or bags for sandwiches and snacks. I might have to make them myself.
3. I use only natural cleaning products, or vinegar and baking soda. I prefer having bacteria than chemicals in my house. It's a choice and believe me, everything is antibacterial now, even your underwear. A shame we are so triclosan-crazy now since it's proven that kids exposed to certain bacteria before the age of 2 are less likely to die from that bacteria as an elder.
4. I don't use pesticides on my lawn (no fertilizer either -why would I want the damn thing to grow faster?) and I buy the dirty dozen in the organic section or at least locally grown: apples, grapes, peppers, celery, peaches, and all other thin skinned fruit and vegetables. I don't worry about bananas, mangoes, pineapples, oranges, etc. I also stay away from produce that is not in season. I will never buy huge January strawberries. In winter, we eat Caribbean fruit; it isn't local but it is in season. It's fun the learn your location's growing season. In Ottawa, we have asparagus in May, strawberries in June, raspberries in July, blueberries and peaches in August, apples and potatoes in September, root vegetables in the fall.
5. We buy only local, hormone and antibiotic-free meat. We go to our local butcher/farmer who told us they "don't have the money for that fancy hormone thing", and we bought a quarter cow from La Ferme du Vallon Highlands, from someone we know who raises cows in summer. I know my cow was raised with respect and on milk and grass, as all cows should.
6. My house smells of nothing. Not of fabric softener (the devil incarnated and another made-up need), not of air fresheners or plug-ins, nothing. In fact, I don't use anything that has the word "fragrance" as an ingredient.
It was difficult at first, but once we got used to the change, it made sense. I feel good about protecting myself and my family, and I'm saving money too.
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